THE BELIEVER

TOOL

Invacare Folding Shower Chair

$55.00

FEATURES:

  • Folds for storage and travel
  • Textured nonslip seat with drain holes
  • Contoured durable plastic seat and backrest
  • Built-in holder for optional handheld shower
  • Durable 1” anodized aluminum frame will not rust
  • Lifetime limited warranty

Shower time is the most relaxing and productive time of my day. I daydream. I fantasize. I scheme. I plot the novel I never seem to write when dry. I read and reread instructions and ingredients on the backs of shampoo and conditioner bottles. Through the window, I watch traffic on the George Washington Bridge. I shower so long that my hands and foot prune.

Last month my special lady-friend bought me the Invacare Folding Shower Chair Model 9981, which has four aluminum legs and a white plastic seat and backrest, each with strategically placed holes for drainage. Sadly, the folding feature is counterintuitive and clumsy. So I don’t bother with it, leaving the shower chair planted in the middle of the tub for my special lady-friend to circumnavigate.

The Invacare Folding Shower Chair Model 9981 is the Cadillac of shower chairs. I know of which I speak. Ten years ago I had the misfortune of having my left leg amputated, causing me to change much of my daily routine—not the least of which being my shower ritual. I quickly learned standing on a slick shower floor with one foot is not only dangerous, it’s tiring. So, I have spent much time in different showers sitting on different things—including lawn chairs, a cinderblock, plastic milk crates, and an assortment of shower chairs, some made by Invacare and some not.

We hope you enjoy this excerpt.

To read the full piece, please purchase a copy of the magazine from The McSweeney’s Store.

—E. Tyler Lindvall

E. Tyler Lindvall was born in Iowa, raised in Nebraska, and is now working on a novel in New York City.