OCTOBER 2009
Sedaratives
A monthly advice column
This month: guest columnist LOUIS C. K.
(The editors and Mr. C. K. would like to apologize in advance for his overt and unnecessary hostility. Mr. C. K. was, by his own admission, “having a bad day.”)
*
Dear Sedaratives:
Is secondhand smoke really as bad as everyone says it is?
Rebekkeh T.
San Francisco, Calif.
Dear Rebekkeh:
Very good question. Let me give you some statistics.
- Your name is stupid.
- Nobody cares what you think.
- I hate you.
- I have a pretty nice penis. It’s not huge, but it’s well sized and it’s nice. This isn’t directed at you. It’s directed at any attractive woman reading this magazine who might run into me later in her life. I’d rather advertise my penis than answer your stupid question. Idiot.
Louis
To read the rest of this piece, please purchase this issue of the Believer online or at your local bookseller.
