July/August 2010

Musin’s and Thinkin’s

A Monthly Stroll Down Folksy Byways

with Jack Pendarvis

Women and men are certainly different. Women have long eyelashes. And that is the only difference between men and women. Sometimes I get together with some of the fellows for a “snort,” and my goodness, we just go on and on about it.

The other night it was me and Jimbo and Stan, down at the lodge hall. “Do you think they’ll ever let a woman fly an airplane?” Jimbo asked reflectively.

“Hell, no! Their eyelashes are too damn long,” Stan opined. He has lots of opinions and loves to opine!

Gus arrived late—as usual! He asked us what we were fussing about this time.

“Women,” said Stan with his characteristic grunt.

“Gender is performative,” said Gus.

All of a sudden we realized he was right. So then we had to find something else to talk about. I don’t suppose there is anything more satisfying in the world than a cold beer with a couple of trusted old friends who are in the mood to shoot the breeze. 

“Hey, guys, remember that time we found a pencil?” said Jimbo.

“Good times,” said Gus.

Even Stan had to admit it was great when we found the pencil that time.

When you’ve been around the same people all your life, in the same little town, you build up a treasury of simple pleasures that is worth more than all of the gold of mighty kings. I remember just sitting there looking at Stan’s face, thinking, I know every wrinkle and pockmark on that surly pan of his. He has this one eyebrow hair that’s not even attached to his other eyebrows. It kind of grows out of the side of his head, next to his other eyebrow hairs. I don’t even think he knows he has it. It just gets longer and longer. I can’t even believe it. It’s literally making me physically ill to look at it. Why didn’t I accomplish something with my life? Oh well! Too late now!

“That pencil was so sharp!” said Jimbo. “I can’t believe somebody could drop a pencil on the sidewalk and the lead wouldn’t even break. You could still write with it, no problem.”

We hope you enjoy this excerpt.

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Jack Pendarvis has written three books..

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