Musin’s and Thinkin’s

A Monthly Stroll Down Folksy Byways

with Jack Pendarvis

Proud mamas and papas have seen to it, and rightfully so, that the “social networks” of today are abuzz with the peanut-butter-smeared antics of our nation’s greatest natural resource. No, not moss. It may astonish you to learn that I am referring to children. Others rank children third on our list of natural resources, after wind and fish, with moss a distant fourth. I would quibble only slightly, placing moss a very close second to children. Did you realize that so-called “Spanish moss,” the substance that lets you know you are watching a movie with a screenplay by Billy Bob Thornton, is not moss at all? Amazingly enough, it is related to the pineapple, our fifth-greatest natural resource. One thing almost no moss can do is make hilarious quips without realizing how cute it is. Children, on the other hand, say some wondrous things that you just can’t make up, accounting in part for their increasing popularity. I’ll give you an example from my own life.

The other night, the missus made a spiffy pasta primavera, heavy on the asparagus. Later that evening, our thirty-five-year-old, Rodney, came out of the bathroom in a humorously perturbed frame of mind.

“Oh God, I think I’m dying,” he said, groaning. It is one of his favorite things to say, so I must confess that I did not anticipate the jewel of guileless wit that was soon to follow.

We hope you enjoy this excerpt.

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Jack Pendarvis has written three books.

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